Yes, it is true. I received my own little version of coal in my stocking this cold, rainy, Christmas Eve morning. I was asleep when I heard the dog barking – the neighbors’ 2 dogs, as well. It is Wednesday, and that is garbage day in the neighborhood. The barking usually indicates that the garbage guys are here picking up the trash. Sounded a bit differently to me this particular time. I didn’t want to get up, but, reluctantly, I did.
After looking out the window, I wanted to make a U-turn, get back under the covers, and pretend this wasn’t really happening. What looked like a retriever mix was out there gleefully dispersing garbage all over the front lawn. “Oh S—!” *sigh* OK … have to deal with this. Didn’t have my glasses on. Grabbed the box of large trash bags and tried to pull one off the roll. I couldn’t see the perforations. Kept pulling and pulling, trying to feel what I could not see. Wasn’t working. Black plastic was now all over the kitchen floor. Dog still out there having an early Merry Christmas. Ran for my glasses. Put ’em on. Ran to my mess. Got a bag. What a guy!
Oh … clothes … ran in the bedroom and slipped on a shirt and jeans and a pair of beach shoes. Left my glasses indoors because I didn’t want them falling off in the rain and mud. Out I went, looking much like the Bride of Frankenstein, still half asleep, feet planted in the mud, rain coming down. Busily collecting garbage and furiously stuffing it in the bag. “Oh, what fun it is …” My neighbor came out on her porch and said something to me. I was basically sleep-walking and I wasn’t really sure what she was saying. I think it was that I could use a container that she had. I don’t remember saying a word to her. Maybe I did.
Anyway, my feet, and everything else, were soaked, but I finally got it all tidied up and secured. Now, I probably more resembled something out of American Horror Story: Freak Show.
I dried off and did get back under those covers. Coal, I tell you. I’m a mess.